Reviewing the Fast & Furious storyline to date [w/video]

With just a couple of months to go until the April premier of the 7th entry in the ongoing Fast and Furious saga, it’s time for a quick review of the story to date. Thanks to Cinefix for the review.

And in case 2 minutes and 31 seconds is too long for you (which according to theory would prove that you are a drag racer and not a road racer), here’s our own review of the movies to date, with the one strange fact we noticed long ago: the movies alternately rule and suck. Here’s our own table to prove it, Highlighting the history of alternatively ruling and sucking, what makes it rule, and what is most improbable. Summarizing (in our humble opinion): Part 1 was great, Part 2 stunk, Part 3 was great (set in Japan), Part 4 was bizarre (but made over $150M), and Part 5 rules again. But Part 6 is a bit strange and sucks because of a JJ Abrams-type timeline change. And the entire idea of this table is invalided anyway, because Part 3 in Tokyo turns out to actually be Part 6B. That makes Part 7 part 6c. WTF???

But here it is anyway, our famous Fast & Furious Rules/Sucks chart with infamous links (click on all the links below before the Internet police deletes them all!).

Part Title Release Date(United States) Location Our Rating Rules/ we could dream…? Sucks/ most improbable..!

1 The Fast and the Furious June 22, 2001 L.A., California Rules Supra build-up,
Rodriguez
and
Brewster
sex scene, Dom and Letty sex scene, desert racing event, blue GT-R,
black S2000
. Use of actual race cars for
the Race Wars scene.
A VW Passat as street race car? Retuning the engine in the middle of a race with a laptop built into the seat?
So much is just technically wrong with Part 1.

2
2 Fast 2 Furious June 3, 2003 Miami, Florida Sucks A totally different sequel? Pink S2000, too many special effects during street race, Miami, too much Tyrese, most everything else.

3
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift June 16, 2006 Tokyo, Japan Rules Everything Japan,
Tsuchiya cameo
, rear wheel drive Evo, Yakuza, Vin Diesel at the end. Music video.
Han dies – we think. As was
revealed later, part 3 takes place immediately after Part 6.
A classic Mustang as capable race car?

4
Fast & Furious April 3, 2009 L.A., Mexico Sucks Brewster in NSX (all too briefly). RS200 (briefly) Racing thru cavern tunnels, too much emphasis on muscle cars, Rodriguez dies, flying gas tanker, stereotype Mexico, lousy selection of cars.
Jordana Brewster and Paul Walker are just not that hot in their own
committed-relationship sex scene
.

5
Fast Five April 29, 2011 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Rules Brewster back in action! Brazil! Bank vault chase scene, Brewster getting stuck with GT40 instead of NSX. Isn’t Sung Kang’s Han character supposed to be dead (and could Tyrese Gibson please die)? Tiring muscle: Dodges and more Dodges?? And American agents with automatic weapons running around freely in Brazil?

6
Fast and Furious 6 May 24, 2013 Berlin and various European locations. Sucks Warning: spoiler:
guess who
will
return
to the series: Brian: Maybe the Letty we once knew is gone.  Dom (having just been shot by Letty): You don’t turn your back on family, even when they do. The team has 100 Million Dollars from the Brazil heist. How
are they spending it?
We miss the old soundtrack – let’s hear more of the same..! Full pardons so that they can “make their families whole again”? What families are those? And why is Letty driving a Jensen Interceptor? A Mustang that can’t outrace a tank? Millionaires worry about money. World’s longest runway… it keeps going and going and going… it never ends. And, yet again, too much Tyrese.

7
Furious 7 April 2015 TBD Rules? Sucks? Jason Stratham plays the bad guy! And Kurt Russell too (will he play his tennis shoes good guy or his sideburns bad guy?)!
Has Letty been saved? Can she ever be happy with Dom again, since each of them has already had the world? Could Jordana get any thinner (she looked like a skeleton in last year of the Dallas TV show)?

And what of #7? Our prediction: it will rule. First because of Jason Stratham, and even more so because of Kurt Russell. Hopefully he will bring something of the 3000 Miles to Graceland type of bad guy to his role. And last but certainly not least, it will rule because we will see Paul Walker one last time. A great individual, a terrific actor, lost too soon.
fast-and-furious-7