: Media: Top Gear & Jeremy Clarkson

Captain Slow and the Capri 2.8 Injection

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 00:31:52 GMT

Catching up on some old Top Gear episodes today, I came across Season 13 Episode 5. Our three heroes face yet another cheap car challenge - this time a drive to France in three old rear-wheel drive sports coupes (pronounced "coupe-aaa..." in British): a Porsche 944 (Clarkson), a 300ZX (The Hamster), and a Capri 2.8 Injection (Captain Slow, although with a reasonable 160 HP). Several tasks were given, including trying to beat The Stig around a race track. Everybody failed at that, and of course the Capri over-heated (giving me a deja vu moment... in my own Capri, an earlier 1974 model, the over-heating occured in the dead of winter, requiring a major repair in sub-freezing temperatures and a wind chill well under zero degrees).

And then there was the braking test: in 200 meters, accelerate to 60 MPH and then brake. If you fail, you run into one of your favorite possessions. Of course, Captain Slow crashed into his own piano and destroyed it.

Another test was a race on a snow track at a French ski resort. This brought me to another deja vu moment: the purpose of my own Capri was as my "winter car", so that I could keep my 1979 Mustang Indy 500 Pace Car in the garage for the duration. My Capri certainly wasn't as nice as this well-equipped blue example from Europe. The model Top Gear used was of late-seventies vintage, which was not imported to North America. That's a shame, because Bosch mechanical fuel injection replaced the previous (and miserable) carb and the car reached an all-time peak of capability. And a great set of cloth Recaro seats was offered as an option - which the blue car above has. Unfortunately, the Capri terminally expired and was left by the side of the road. James Mays was switched to a backup Morris Marina. Sacre blue!

The final test was a race on snow and ice and - STOP THE PRESS - Captain Slow beat both Clarkson and The Hamster.

Getting back to the real world, this week's track test pitted the new supercharged Jag (direct-injected DOHC 5 liter V-8, with 6-speed auto) against an M5. I have to admit, I liked the Jag - despite the anti-Jag jokes that Clarkson weakly offered (because when did he start standing up for the Germans?). During the timed track test, The Stig listened to Scottish music, which Clarkson characterized as "the sound of beats being offered inside a stomach lining". I definitely don't want to know about the cultural reference there, although I think I've seen a clue about it an old Monty Python sketch.

Anyway, the Jag was only a 1/2 second slower around the test track than the M5. I think my next European car needs to be a Jag - now that I've had a Capri.

Top Gear Season 12 promo

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 11:29:47 GMT

Season 12 begins on November 2nd... of course it's only broadcast in Britain and we won't get it here in North America on the lame BBC America for at least a year. You'll have to resort to ... other ways... to see it any sooner...

Jeremy Clarkson Obituary

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 00:11:37 GMT

Well he's not dead yet... but should somebody finally have enough of the opinionated SOB and do him in, here is an obituary that is ready for use at any time:

Yes, this is one of the hottest rumors today on the internet... so hot that even YouTube's allegedly ultra-fast servers can't keep up with it. If Clarkson ever does get killed... expect financial systems to collapse, expect the major auto manufacturers to merge, expect Ford to sell off the company that saved it's a**, and worse. Oh, wait, that's exactly what happened this week. Maybe Clarkson really is dead?

(Jeremy) Clarkson Island

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:40:06 GMT

Reference: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/harryandpaul/

:-)

Something Awful parodies Top Gear Challenges

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 00:08:25 GMT

We're right in the middle of watching every single episode of Top Gear and just found this parody of Top Gear's infamous Challenges that Something Awful produced.

<right click> and <open in new tab> http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/top-gear-challenge.php

It's right on - they've noted the spirit of the show. Although there is one historical inaccuracy and one Challenge that has been obsoleted:

1) James May wasn't in Series 1 - he didn't come along until Series 2.

2) Big Foot truly exists - we read it on the Internet just this past week!

The complete list, from Something Awful, follows (note that they are incorrectly using the term "season" - in Britain these are known as "series"):

Season 1: Episode 7
Hosts Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May purchase three hatchbacks for under £1,000 apiece, then determine which is the most reliable by falling asleep in a very small garage with the engine running.
Season 2: Episode 3
Who can take a standard London cab and convert it into the most efficient solar-powered vehicle? The gang settles this ages-old argument once and for all by playing a three-way game of chicken in Meredes S 600s without wearing safety belts.
Season 2: Episode 10
Three high-end sportscars have their brakes put to the test when they're dropped from the back of a cargo plane eight thousand feet above Stonehenge.
Season 3: Episode 5
Which four door sedan is the most sensible car in its class? Garry Kasparov goes head-to-head with three sedans in a chess tournament to find out. The outcome might surprise you, provided you believe the first part of this sentence!
Season 4: Episode 1
How many women can a minivan attract? Jeremy, Richard and James leave their vans (which have been modified with leather jackets and patches of chest hair) outside of a popular nightclub and see which vehicle gets dry-humped by the most women.
Season 5: Episode 4
Our hosts must convert pickup trucks into fully-functioning boats, then see which is the fastest at being towed on a trailer.
Season 6: Episode 9
The guys determine which SUV makes the best demolition derby car by running over felt hats with rounded crowns of varying sizes.
Season 7: Episode 3
Three DeLorean DMC-12s are purchased, then made into time machines in an effort to see who can stop the 1975 assassination of Ringo Starr first. Featuring the inadvertent butterfly effect that led to the death of John Lennon.
Season 7: Episode 4
Which convertible is capable of holding the most water? The lads find out by lowering each car into the ocean via helicopter, lifting the filled car back into the air, then carefully measuring the tideline.
Season 8: Episode 8
The boys set out to prove that a Maserati 200S can launch itself into outer space under its own power by systematically running over every scientist and engineer that claims it can't be done.
Season 9: Episode 2
Can a fancy in-car navigation system be used to find Osama bin Laden? Three such systems are sent to a holding facility in an unnamed country, then tortured and held indefinitely.
Season 10: Episode 5
In order to determine which station wagon has the best suspension, the hosts play a game of Operation on a cobblestone road with full cups of hot coffee in their laps while their cars' suspensions are digitally examined in a nearby garage.
Season 11: Episode 1
Is Bigfoot real? Jeremy, Richard and James pack a Rolls Royce with C4 and detonate it to find out.

Japan Car Blog reviews Top Gear 11.04 GT-R vs Bullet Train race

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:28:50 GMT

The always excellent Japan Car Blog reviews the latest episode of Top Gear where Jeremy Clarkson raced a Bullet train across Japan. The Hamster and James May were in the bullet train and their journey also included a shuttle bus, another train, a ferry, and a ____________ (can't say, don't want to spoil the surprise or the great soundtrack that plays during it). Jeremy got the GT-R and a 400-mile route to follow from western Japan thru Tokyo and across the bay to the finish.

Their blog includes low-res segments of the race: http://japancarblog.com/2008/07/top-gear-clarksons-ego-in-gt-r-vs-bullet-train/ (suggest <right click> and <open in new tab>) or the entire episode is available via torrent sites. They also correctly point out that some of Jeremy's comments are culturally offensive. Actually the entire cast makes more than a few gaffes, and they all look tired and glad to get it over with. James May looks particularly worn out, or perhaps he is just tired of Jeremy Clarkson. Jeremy's GT-R was fabulous, although his navigation system was entirely in Japanese - which causes some issues when he accidentally turns it off and immediately gets lost.

There is some controversy... both teams end up at the finish only 3 minutes apart. Many forums and some news articles suggest the "race" wasn't actually one. Decide for yourself, but despite the obvious choreography this is certainly the best segment this year.

The scenery along the route is beautiful, the shrine where the race ends is going on my list of places to visit, and there are enough details shown that the trip could be duplicated.

The episode was particularly meaningful to us because we want to take a similar drive across Japan and have been looking over navigation options. Ideally, we need a Microsoft Streets & Trips of Japan, in English. Unfortunately, there is no such thing since the Japanese have apparently all moved to phone-based GPS years ago. While we certainly won't be able to get a GT-R rental car, we will need a rental car with a navigation system. We'll need to figure out the sequence of buttons that bring up an overhead map, which we will have to follow along the best we can without any ability to actually read Japanese. This may not be as tough as it sounds... we'll supplement it with paper maps that we can mark up ahead of time and the nav system will at least keep us going in the right direction.

Why not a tour bus? Because the greatest feudal castles, shrines, and other historical sites across Japan can't all be reached by subway or bus, or even by tour companies. And the automotive places we'd want to visit such as Twin Ring Motegi and the Honda museum can't be reached by train without spending an inordinate amount of money on taxis at the other end. And our planned trip to the largest AutoBacs dealer, while it can be reached by subway, would be impractical considering the amount of "souvenirs" we're planning to cart out of there.

The Japan Car Blog - one of my daily reads:

Blog: http://japancarblog.com
RSS feed: http://japancarblog.com/feed/

Did Top Gear plagiarize Ben Hur? ;-)

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 22:14:08 GMT

Plagiarize - it's an ugly word. It means that you don't have an original idea and blatantly copy one from somebody else. It is, unfortunately, a situation that has occurred before on Top Gear.

Top Gear started a new season in Europe last month and enthusiasts everywhere are working hard to see the broadcasts... by whatever means they have at their disposal. We don't want to know about illegally pirated copies and torrent downloads - perhaps if they'd skip the silly idea of attempting to recreate Top Gear for Americans and just send us the originals...????.

Season 11, Episode 1 has a typical/Clarksonian stunt involving the cast building their own police cars (at a cost of no more than 900 pounds) and equipping them (500 pounds). So few quid doesn't yield much in the way of valuable police equipment... and of course the guys aren't trained in legitimate police tactics. So of course improvisation is the order of the day. That's where Clarkson makes his mistake... blazingly stealing from the most famous movie scenes ever filmed: Willliam Wyler's fabulous chariot race in the 1959 Ben Hur.

You may remember that the character Messala (Stephen Boyd) hated Ben Hur (Charlton Heston). In a chariot race, Messala ups the stakes (no pun intended) by mounting sharpened spikes on the axle of his chariot.

As needed, Messala would bring his chariot next to an opponent...

Cutting the wheels apart.. what catastrophic results. At this point I'll stop because what eventually happened to Messala is exactly what he deserved, but too terrible to show in a family blog like this.

Getting back to Top Gear... after 10 seasons of mayhem, ideas have apparently run out. Introducing what Clarkson calls the "Bodecea Spike". Check your history books for references to Bodecea - she was one of the most famous and heroic Brits ever. But we happen to know that such a spike was in use even earlier in time, in the much earlier days of the Roman Empire.

Mounted on the rear wheels of Clarkson's police car, he attempts to catch the Stig, playing an escaping bad guy...

Ready to bring the Stig to an abrupt halt...?

Rammed into the side of the Stigs car.

The results? Here's the entire scene:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Now lets go back and watch the original Ben Hur chariot race (caution: bloody ending!). The production standards here, are, ahem, entirely different than those of Top Gear!

;-)

11th season of Top Gear coming soon

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 22:07:42 GMT

Once you see this commercial from BBC TWO, there is nothing else to do but wait.. and pace.. and pace...

BBC America to add Top Gear!

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 15:18:37 GMT

Starting August 20th, BBC America will start to air Top Gear episodes. Lets hope that this time they will air unedited in their full and original form!

Link for details: http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/266/index.jsp

Top Gear: Ford ST220, MazdaSPEED 6, Vauxhall Vectra

Fri, 25 May 2007 13:09:12 GMT

Part 1

Part 2

Bugatti Veyron at top speed

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 13:32:39 GMT

Another fabulous video from Top Gear!

Bugatti Veyron at top speed
Uploaded by Flabber

Clarkson: Z4 vs Boxster vs S2000

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 12:33:37 GMT

While I can't stand Jeremy Clarksons politics (he has moved from attacking American cars for being too soft, to attacking American foreign policy as well as anything and everything Tony Blair), there is no doubt he knows his car stuff.

Here is an video from a few years ago, comparing the original AP1 S2000 to the then-current BMW Z4 and Porsche Boxster. Of course the Boxster and Z4 have moved onwards and upwards since then, both in performance and of course- inevitably and significantly (since they are German) - in price.

Meanwhile, the aging S2000 contines to perform it's original mission very well indeed...

Top Gear - Bugatti Veyron Race

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 00:01:39 GMT

Unbelievable!

Top Gear: Clarkson horse versus horses

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 22:58:10 GMT

Clarkson, whose 15 minutes of fame might be stretched a bit far, claims in this video that he is racing a 4.6 V-8 300-HP Ford Mustang against a Mustang - as in a horse.

Reality is he is driving a V-6. As he damned well knows it. And the horse isn't even a Mustang.

Furthermore, I call BS on his claim that the horse circled the track in 38 seconds against his 42. Take a look at the size of the track... that's a several-minute gallop. And the fat rider doens't help. Nor does the fathead who thought up this lame stunt.

Richard Hammond improving after crash

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 11:36:46 GMT

Top Gear presenter Richard Hammond is improving but remains seriously ill in hospital after he crashed a jet-powered car Wednesday during filming for the BBC show at Elvongton Airfield.

The 36-year-old was thought to be driving at about 300mph on an airfield near York when he crashed on Wednesday.

Elvington is a former WW2 airfield located near York. It's used for various activities including track days and also hosts one of the larger airshows in Britain each year. http://www.elvington.org/

[Continue at source]

Top Gear drives the GM hyrodrogen showcar

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 01:37:35 GMT

Very interesting "road test" of an interesting hyrogen-powered development car idea by GM.

Top Gear tests the Prodrive P2

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 04:33:56 GMT

Top Gear tested the Prodrive P2 concept on a recent episode... a car that will never and can never go into production. Why not?

First, Prodrive is not in the production business. This is an example of their engineering capability but without production capability and capacity (and investors) the idea of a production P2 is impossible.

Secondly, and even more impossible to overcome, is the "anti-lag" system in the turbocharger. In order to reduce lag, fuel is directly injected into the turbo housing to generate enough volume to keep the impeller spinning. Injecting "raw" fuel into the housing is certainly incompatible with emisisons requirements... as shown by the flame that exits the rear of the P2 at every shift. This is the same system used in WRC cars.

So enjoy it while you can... vicariously thru TopGears test. http://www.bbc.co.uk/topgear/thisweek.shtml Note that the car didn't do all that well with the Stig... but it is just a concept.

And, thanks to YouTube, you can see the full test: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0hDqlASKHc

Top Gear & Jeremy Clarkson test the 2006 Z06

Sun, 28 May 2006 01:16:19 GMT

No introduction is necessary.

See the video of Top Gear here: http://media.putfile.com/Z06-90

Top Gear back on the air (UK)!

Mon, 08 May 2006 15:15:28 GMT

In the proper regional dialects:

UK readers: you are bloody blue lucky!

US readers: unless you've got access to BBC2, we are bloody out of luck.

Top Gear: Infamous S2000 Grannies video

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 15:25:03 GMT

Top Gear: the infamous S2000 Grannies video!